Well, I guess by now it's no secret that The Dark Knight was a success. One of the greatest comic book movies of all time (not to mention just a good film in it's own right), The Dark Knight holds 2nd place for the highest grossing film in history (behind #1: Titanic). As the third and final film in Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy people are going to have very hefty expectations with the bar being set so high with the first two films. Given all of this hype, The Dark Knight Rises is a highly anticipated release.
Many fans have been anxious to hear more about the TDKR as filming has commenced and production ramped up but things have been relatively quiet. The only juicy tidbits that Bat-fans have managed to scrounge up have been filming locations, villian announcements and one lonely photo of Bane (the films main villain alongside the morally ambiguous Catwoman). But this last week there has been hope!
It has been heavily rumored that a teaser trailer for TDKR will debut this weekend with the release of the final installment of the Harry Potter franchise. Given that the teaser for The Dark Knight contained almost no footage at all, I'm not going to hold my breath for an orgy of new Batman footage this weekend. Hope springs eternal though!
Finally, almost in confirmation of the teaser trailer release, the first promotional poster has been released for the movie. All of the promotional material for the batman movies has been very good in the past (I trust we all remember Why So Serious?). This poster is in a similar vein but really doesn't show anything specific to TDKR, only hinting at possible thematic elements for the film.
All in all, it's a decent reveal and I can't help but to be uber-excited for Nolan's Batman finale. Don't get too hyped, however, the release is still a year away so no one will be getting a Bat-fix until Summer 2012.
Living in the city, one gets accustomed to the lack of insects. Therefore, it's all too common for people to complain when a fly gets into their house or they suck up a gnat when riding their bike. It's easy to forget, especially for people who haven't spend much time in the outdoors or rural areas, that insects dominate this planet. We do our best to fend them off with our cities and insecticides but we can only go so far.
My Dad is working up in a mining camp near Kotzebue, Alaska and sent me this photo of the dominant species. For some reason I can't get Flight of the Valkyries out of my head... Give it a click to get the horrific, full-size version.
Yes, those are all Mosquitoes.
So, next time you are annoyed by an insect, remember my constant credo: It can always be worse.
What follows is a rant from some insane comic book fanatic that, as I understand it, originally appeared on SomethingAwful.com. My first experience with this story was from a friend of mine relating it to me at Valley of the Moon Park over a delicious Carl's Junior Western Burger with Dr Pepper and curly fries. While I will always maintain that my friend's version of the story was way better (I was literally in tears, holding my guts laughing), the original is still pretty damn good. Enjoy it in all it's ridiculous, grammatically incorrect goodness.
Why The Flash Is The Most Overpowered Superhero Ever
"Now, I don't know how many of you dogs of the scurviest sea read comics, but I do a big pile of comics. One thing that blows my mind is how completely insane the powers in the DC universe are. Look at Superman. This guy has more powers than French restaurants have ways to say "your taste in wine is atrocious". He has powers to do with every part of his body and then some. He forgets powers sometimes. He can shoot heat rays out of his eyes, frost breath from his mouth and red son radiation from his ass. He's that sort of crazy dude. All because he absorbs solar radiation.
Look at Batman. His power? The anti-power. Sure, he should be some tame, kung fun master of not much, but instead he's the hottest shit to ever shit on a plate. You got a power? He'll find your weakness and give you seizures or heart attacks. He'll light you on fire when you're sleeping or make you recharge your green lantern ring in the power outlet. Ten thousand volts of fuck you batman. That's Batman.
But the fucking Flash, my god, my FUCKING GOD, this man has the greatest powers of all. If Superman's powers are being sucked off by twin super models and batman coming home to discover your wife is not only bisexual but has two friends she wants you to 'get in on' then the Flash is an orgy with a thousand women who also want to pay your World of Warcraft billing. And click the mouse for you. This man is just that fucking hot. They have to power him down in the comics half the time just to keep him from doing everyone else's job.
Ok first off, he can travel at lightspeed. Mother fuck! Not only does he travel at lightspeed, but time slows down for him. So he feels like he's having a casual jog or reading the paper, meanwhile, his feet are moving so fast you can hear him coming from Montana while he's already gotten to Arizona. That's fucking fast. But wait! The ability to move at Lightspeed just isn't fucking enough!
I know! Christ this guy can punch you so many times in a second you've been hit five times in the cock and two times everywhere else. You think you're about to fight the Flash and then it hits you, for the last split second he's beaned your beanbags with more blows than you had sperm. But no, there's more!
The Flash can also vibrate through walls. Now last I heard, you can not move so fast you can vibrate through walls, so what actually happens is the Flash is so fast he can pick and choose the movement of his individual molecules and move them through other solid objects, phasing through solid matter like it ain't no thing. I mean you think a guy who runs at lightspeed would run into shit but no, the Flash just goes right through them. To top that with a cherry and some whipped cream (which the Flash made in like a millisecond, fucker) he can selectively choose to cause objects to be "okay" afterwards or FUCKING EXPLODE. That's right. He can run through you and make you blow up by transfering kinetic energy into you. Like Jesus. IT's bad enough you can't hit this guy, but he doesn't even have to punch you. Now your testicles have exploded and you're thinking you're about to hit him. Jesus? Just give it up. He's the fucking Flash.
Now imagine that somehow there's someone who can get around the Flash blowing your balls up secret ninja technique. Ok. He can also control the flow of energy between objects. This power makes no sense but basically he can throw a rock at you, and you think it's going slow and then he's like WHOOHOOO WIZARDLY FLASH POWERS and bam it's going at lightspeed. So he can throw seven million rocks at you in a second then make them all goes different speeds thus striking your nads with seven million rocks one after the other.
But wait! There's more! He can also take energy from the very power of speed and make clothes out of it. Yes. Flash makes his pants out of GOES FAST. The man is so fast he can make Flash pants that GOES FAST go right into. I don't even start to understand the physics of that but basically SPEED == REALLY TIGHT UNDERWEAR AND COOL LIGHTNING THINGIES OVER THE EAR. You would think this is the end of it but ok let's say Flash is fighting Superman and shit he's going to lose and FUCK how is Superman THIS fucking strong? I don't know he must be Superman fused with Batman into some sort of guy with tons of plans on how to punch you far harder than anyone else ok to end it off the Flash can GO BACK OR FORWARD IN TIME ON COMMAND.
How do you beat this dude? You're thinking you're hashing him good, laying down the beatdown, missing your balls and suddenly BAM YOUR MOM FELL DOWN THE STAIRS TWENTY YEARS AGO and there's a dent in your forehead and Superman not thunk so gud no more. Actually she didn't fall down the stairs the Flash put speed into them so they fell up her! Fuck you Flash! You moved the stairs to Soviet fucking russia! RUSH-A! Bitch.
Oh, and lastly his greatest power is he isn't fast in bed. He takes it slow and gets all the ladies with his superpowers then actually satisfies them in the sack. Who the Hell is this guy? You'd think he could AT LEAST be a premature ejaculator since his penis is moving at lightspeed but NOOOO he's even good in bed.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Wolverine sucks cock and should go die in a freak greasefire."
So I finally got around to a movie I've had in my Netflix queue for a while called Dog Soldiers. It was in my queue because it's written and directed by Neil Marshall. For people who are not familiar with Neil Marshall, he is a relatively new-to-the-game British writer/director who has put out a small number interesting movies in the last decade. The ones that I had seen to date were Doomsday (quite bad), Centurion (fairly decent) and The Descent (one of my all-time favorite horror movies). Whether his films are good or bad, he has interesting vision so I almost always appreciate the look and feel of what he puts out.
Dog Soldiers was Marshall's first feature length film (done in 2002). You probably haven't heard of it because I'm almost positive it didn't receive a U.S. release. It amounts to a werewolf movie which turns out to be more action than horror oriented. And, surprisingly for a first effort, it turns out to be a pretty enjoyable flick. This is in no small part due to the cast and their acting chops. First there is Sean Pertwee, an English guy that you would say "Hey, isn't that the guy from..." and then not be able to remember any of his movies. Second, and more importantly you have Kevin McKidd who is a Scottish actor who has described himself as the poor man's Gerard Butler. In my opinion McKidd is a substantial step up from Butler. McKidd was one of the main characters in the BBC/HBO collaboration series Rome, which is one of my favorite television series to date. Also, for gaming fans, he was the voice of Soap MacTavish in Modern Warfare 2, the second best selling video game of all time. Alright, enough of me verbally blowing Kevin McKidd. Suffice it to say, he's awesome.
Thanks to believable performances by the solid British crew, Dog Soldiers manages to transcend the usual low budget action movie status. It has some pretty solid writing from Marshall (including one especially awesome Matrix allusion) as well as a couple moments that made me crack up a bit. Characterization is a strong point in most of Marshall's movies and he doesn't disappoint here.
As far as the gist of the movie, the plot is simple fare: Soldiers on a routine training exercise, soldiers get attacked by werewolves, soldiers must fight to survive. It sound to simple to be good but, without any spoilers, the way that it pulls it off is pretty entertaining.
Sadly this movie is not on watch instantly so if you want to see it you'll have to spend a precious slot in your DVD queue. But if you're low on movies and want a good British low-budget werewolf action flick, this one comes recommended.
When I started this blog I was in the in between time when school quarter had just ended and I was getting ready to start a new job. In other words I had some time on my hands. Then things got a bit busy as my job ramped up and I became lack-luster on keeping up with finding cool things to post about. This last week was especially bad. Five days without posts...That's no way to run a blog!
So I'm making a public resolution to post something at least every other day, if not more often. There are tons of cool things in the news and new things that I discover and you guys deserve to be up to the minute on all that awesome stuff.
Here's to a better and and more frequently updated Heroic Victory!
I saw Green Lantern tonight. I hadn't planned on going to see this in theaters, let alone for a full price 3D showing, but a friend invited me and I couldn't justify spending the evening in my sweltering apartment, sweating in front of a Netflix movie while there were air-conditioned theaters waiting mere minutes away.
As for the movie, I don't really have much to say (as opposed to my lengthy expose on Transformers 3). It wasn't terrible. That's just about the gist of it. Kind of underwhelming in general but it was fairly enjoyable. Not anything that I will probably see again, and definitely not worth your loot to see in 3D or even at the theater. Give it a rent when it comes to DVD and you'll have a solid night's worth of entertainment.
Here's to the rest of the summer blockbusters living up to the hype. Check out my (soon to be up) Movies page for release dates.
The great thing about Netflix is their huge selection of movies and TV shows. While it's larger than anything you would get in a video store, it should be noted that they don't have everything. I have about 10 movies saved in my queue (half of which are foreign films) that are simply not available through Netflix. Among their available selection, however, they have a surprisingly large variety of anime, most of which seems to be available on the Watch Instantly service. Instant and unlimited access to a huge selections of anime, you say? It is truly a great day for the nerds of the world!
At least that's what I thought...
Upon closer examination, one realizes that the anime on watch instantly are all of the dubbed variety. If you are a purist, they only option for watching with the original audio is to rent one DVD at a time. So, one is left with two unsatisfactory options. Suffer through the often terrible American anime dubs OR go through a 50 episode series, disc by disc, 4 episodes at a time. Even with maximum efficiency and turnaround, this could take weeks. It is truly a sad day for the nerds of the world!
But wait! Recently netflix has released several anime series with the original audio and English subtitles on watch instantly. This is apparently due to a new partnership with Viz Media. The list of available subtitled anime is very short at the moment but hopefully this will be a new trend and more series will be added soon. Ideally, Netflix will implement something that will give viewers a choice between subbed and dubbed versions of shows. But with limited space for hosting streamable video content, having two versions is a long shot. For the purists, we can only hope that subtitles will win out and become the standard rather than the exception in the future.
The current list of subtitled anime is as follows:
Bleach
Deathnote
Inuyasha
Naruto (Seasons 1 & 2)
If any of these are on your watchlist but you were waiting for a subtitled version, here's your chance!
Well, I bit the bullet and went to see the third Transformers movie on Wednesday. Because I know that after the last movie lots of people have reservations about seeing this new one, I thought I would share some of my thoughts and impressions to help you make a decision.
Alrighty, let's get started. Why did I (should you?) go see this movie in the first place? Here's the breakdown.
2007: The first Transformers movie was a decent one. It had a simple, straight-forward story, some good voice-acting for Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) and Megatron (Hugo Weaving), a hot as always Megan Fox, and arguably most important: giant robots shooting plasma cannons and beating the snot out of each other in what has become generally known as a Bayocalypse. There was much ridiculousity to the entire show but in general, it was a Michael Bay movie and you knew what you were getting into. I give Transformers 1 a thumbs up.
2009: By the time Transformers 2 came around I had been living in Japan for several months and would have done just about anything to get my fix for some visceral, gratuitous American action-fest. You can fault Transformers 2 for many things but on that front it delivered. The actions scenes (which some considered muddled in the first film) were clean and even more over-the-top. Megan Fox was so hot that I'm surprised the cameras didn't spontaneously combust during filming. It even made me crack-up a few times. Looking back though, could I have told you what the movie was about even right after I came out of the theater? I'm pretty sure it was about a giant robot fight. Yep.
The plot was...wait, was there a plot? The ridiculous Autobots with their crude jokes were taken to a whole new level of stupid in this movie. So if you were an original Transformers fan who saw the Autobots as a tight-knit team of intergalactic commandos who have been through hell, fighting for the survival of Cybertron, you probably hated this movie. Go play War for Cybertron. You'll have a much better time and won't be crying at the horrendous spectacle Michael Bay made of something that was near and dear to your heart. If, however, you are only interested in seeing massive robots who turn into cars leap through giant explosions whilst dual-wielding energon swords...this was probably right up your alley. I am disappointed that they didn't take Transformers 2 in a more true-to-form direction but I still enjoyed it for what it was.
2011: The inevitable Transformers 3 comes to theaters. At this point in my life, I was forced to realize two important facts: A) I am a poor-as-hell graduate student and B) 3D movies are stupid-expensive. So, here I am in a debate with myself. In one hand I have the promise of mechanical warriors laying waste to Chicago in an orgy of legendary action. In the other I have $13.50, enough to purchase a nearly unlimited supply of ramen noodles and hotdogs. It was a conundrum of the greatest magnitude. What finally decided my troubled mind? This:
The reason I went to see Transformers 3.
Yup. A billboard of Optimus Prime with what looks to be a high-tech gatling gun on one arm and a razor-sharp, super-heated sword on the other. That was all it took. Go ahead, call me shallow. But if that doesn't give you a nerdgasm go back to watching Lifetime.
So, after seeing it, here's what I thought. The movie for me was broken up into two parts. The first half of the movie was exposition. Introducing new characters, setting up the story, etc. The story, of course, had its flaws. Maybe that's an understatement. It was pretty damn ludicrous ("There's no way to get close enough. We're going to have to wingsuit in." lmfao). Don't get me started on the dark side of the moon business that made absolutely no sense. It was enough to carry the movie through to Part 2 though. The second half was what you really came for. Essentially an hour long epic battle scene set in the city of Chicago. And boy does it deliver.
I am not a fan of 3D in general. For me it's like motion controls in video games. Just a little to gimmicky and distracting for my taste. But there are some movies that make good use of it. Avatar is probably the best example but I thought Transformers 3 did a good job with the 3D, especially for the Chicago battle sequences.
One thing that left me truly disappointed was the new leading lady. It was recently revealed that Megan Fox was booted from the franchise because of a comment she made comparing Michael Bay to Hitler. Come on. Especially with the prevalence of Godwin's Law these days, I feel like Spielberg is just being pouty. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was alright with her cute British accent but given that this is a Bay film and he promises me maximum sexuality, I just can't see this as an improvement. Laying Huntington-Whiteley and Fox side by side it makes me wonder who made this decision. In the word of Lewis Black: There are people that will argue with me on this and well... they're wrong.
Can you say downgrade?
There were some happy surprises as well though. Lester Speight (aka Terry Tate aka Private Augustus Cole) makes an appearance as one of the military grunts. I don't care what it is, if Lester is on screen, I am grinning.
"Sometimes it's about intimidation, you know. It's MIND GAMES."
Sentinal Prime, a long lost autobot was voice by Leonard Nimoy who, much like Lester Speight, never fails to disappoint. He even has some easter-egg Spock lines sprinkled into the dialog for good measure. It was a nice little shout-out to the trekkies in the audience. Also, he fights with a huge slab of double-bladed sword which is pretty badass.
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."
Finally, I will mention my favorite element of the movie and just one of the things I find so awesome about Transformers in general. When looking at these movies, it's hard to believe that all of this has come from a line of toys by Hasbro. Those toys got their own TV series and developed a detailed official canon. They are sentient mechanical beings from the far reaches of space, capable of intergalactic travel, yet they find themselves in a civil war for their survival. So with all that technology and advanced civilization, they are still a very humanized creation. They experience anger, jealously, betrayal and the need to fuck shit up with a battle-axe. That's right. Optimus Prime goes medieval on Decepticons with a god-damn energon battle-axe. And for that experience alone, you should go see this movie.
In closing, I will leave you with the trailer to whet your appetite for glorious Transformers action.
